Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

[elianna]

Women v's Game Warden

A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn;
the wife preferred to read.

One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a short nap. The wife decided to take the boat out. She was not familiar with the lake so she rowed out, anchored the boat, and started reading her book.

Along comes the Game Warden in his boat, pulls up alongside and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading my book," she replies as she thinks to herself,
"Is this guy blind or what?"

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"But, Officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?"

"But you have all this equipment, Ma'am. I'll have to
take you in and write you up."

"If you do that I will charge you with rape," snaps the
irate woman.

"I didn't even touch you," grouses the sheriff.

"Yes, that's true... but you have all the equipment ..."


Moral: Never argue with a woman who knows how to read!

[torbanite]

My favourite Cory is "Minkha",
At times she's a right little tinker,
When she's heavy with roe,
She yells "Right boys, let's go!",
We all fall for her - hook line and sinker!

(with Apologies to Edward Lear).

P.S. welcome to PC elianna.

[L number Banana]

Okay here's my poem....with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston....not a joke but I was bored trying to do anagrams (Who Am I thread) that I had no business even attempting

Twas the night before catfish and all through the house
Not a fishie was stirring not even a mouse

The heaters were hung in the tanks with great care
In hopes that the fish guy would soon be there,

The keepers were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of Madtoms danced in their heads,

The alarm sounded early, we jumped up and out,
Today was the day to end the fish drought,

When out in the drive, there came such a clatter,
I sprang from my coffee to see the Mad Catter,

I flew to the door and opened it wide,
And greeted the sight with tears in my eyes,

Before my red eyes, there did appear
A blue mini-van with aquarium gear,

With baggies of fish, all lively and fat,
I knew in a moment, there was my cats,

One by one in their baggies, out they all came,
He checked them for health and called them by name,

A Whippy, a Twiggy, an Oto and more,
A Syno, a Squeaker, and Banjos galore!

He came up the porch and in through the door,
His hands full of fish, his box held some more,

He dressed like a fisher, from his head to his feet,
His clothes were all smelly from wading too deep,

He spoke not a word but went to his work,
He QT'd the fish and turned with a smirk,

And laying his hands deep inside the white box,
He pulled out a fish that gave me a shock,

It was perfect in form and made me quite numb,
It was

Brachyplatystoma tigrinum

I heard him exclaim as he laughed at my tank,
Happy Catfish to all and to all larger tanks!

[Jools]

Now that is a work of genius,

Jools

[Birger]

That one should be saved...maybe in the fun stuff area

Birger

[fischkringli]

I agree. It makes me happy to see work like this on my question task.

[Shovelnose]

Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream the ocean would be loud as s**t. You would not wanna submerge your head. Nothing but fish goin ' Ah Damn....... I thought I looked like that rock.'

- Mitch Hedberg

[L number Banana]

Thanks Jools, Birger, fischkringli,

It would be much better if the pictures came up over the word links. MatsP told me how to link words but the pictures/cat-elog page would be more fun. Like the tigrinum link? Jools could do that?

Of course you could use it if you wanted to

See what those nasty anagrams do to my head

[Martin S]

FYI the hover over works with family, i.e.

Auchenipteridae

, species, i.e.

Auchenipterichthys

and as you know, full names, i.e.

Auchenipterichthys coracoideus

, but am sure it won't work for common names.
Now, had you used

Bunocephalus

or

Otocinclus

, instead of Banjos and Ottos, they would have worked...but it wouldn't have been the brilliant poem it is, so glad you didn't
HTH
Martin

[L number Banana]

You're right, Martin, full names would take away from the bounce. And it was hard enough to rhyme the last fish

[Jools]

Twas the night before catfish and all through the house
Not a fishie was stirring not even a mouse

Saved for posterity!

http://www.planetcatfish.com/general/ge ... cle_id=399





Jools

[TwoTankAmin]

well.......

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xCwLirQS2-o&hl ... ram><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xCwLirQS2-o&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/youtube]

[andywoolloo]

oh my I love your poem, L number Banana!! I just now read it!!

[L number Banana]

Jools:

Saved for posterity!

Thanks! Future cv: "worldwide readership..."

oh my I love your poem, L number Banana!! I just now read it!!

Thanks andywoolloo! I'm working on some cartoons but they're a little sillier. Wish I had a mac

[L number Banana]

Wife to husband Glass catfish:
"Hey, is that worms in there? You told me you wouldn't start without me!"

[boogie]

This is so funny -

I don't get most of the jokes at all - that's why it's so funny!!!!! If you are having a bad day, you must read this post. I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much if I actually understood most of them - thanks guys. Especially the German ones - love it

[fischkringli]

Itsinteresting, how many fish-jokes are existing.
As I started that topic, I guessed about 10 entries maximum. But now...

[L number Banana]

One for fischkringli :
What do you call a very long fish tank?...

[fischkringli]

I dont know, but Im interrested in the answer!!!

[L number Banana]

An Oto-bahn of course

Now what do you call baby Farlowella?

Baby Twigs are Toothpicks and really small ones are Splinters.

[torbanite]

An Oto-bahn

Two glass Cats after a hard days foraging...
One says to the other "I don't know about you, but I'm shattered".

[L number Banana]

Two glass Cats after a hard days foraging...
One says to the other "I don't know about you, but I'm shattered".

And the one that ate beets? Stained Glass Cat.

[fischkringli]

Which fish likes to see fast and cool cars?
The tunafish!

[fischkringli]

How could you see, that a glass cat is being ashamed?
You couldnt see things behind him.
( Poor glass cats, if they could read, what we write about them, especially me I got 13 of them, they would be up in arms )

[L number Banana]

( Poor glass cats, if they could read, what we write about them, especially me I got 13 of them, they would be up in arms )

They'd be all broken up, shattered even.

[fischkringli]

The L-catfish, who didnt like red?
El toro!

[fischkringli]

A german joke with fish, that pointe you couldnt translate. Look at the bolded words.

Ein Thunfisch sagt zum Walfisch
Was sollen wir tun, fisch ?
Du hast die Wahl, fisch !

A tunafish says tu a walefish
What could we do, fish ?
You got the choice, fish !

[L number Banana]

Wow, that's really good fischkringl Easy to pronounce too

[fischkringli]

Thank you, L number Banana. This is a very old joke in germany, but its a good one. An oldy, but a goldy.

Who likes to see Discovery at the TV?
The channel catfish!

[fischkringli]

But this here isnt easy to pronounce:
Fischers frisch frisierter Fritze fischt frisch fritierte fisch-filets.
In english: Fishermens fresh hairdressed Fritze is fishing fresh fried fish-filets.