PlanetCatfish.com

An Oto-bahn

Two glass Cats after a hard days foraging...
One says to the other "I don't know about you, but I'm shattered".

Two glass Cats after a hard days foraging...
One says to the other "I don't know about you, but I'm shattered".

And the one that ate beets? Stained Glass Cat.

Which fish likes to see fast and cool cars?
The tunafish!

How could you see, that a glass cat is being ashamed?
You couldnt see things behind him.
( Poor glass cats, if they could read, what we write about them, especially me I got 13 of them, they would be up in arms )

( Poor glass cats, if they could read, what we write about them, especially me I got 13 of them, they would be up in arms )

They'd be all broken up, shattered even.

The L-catfish, who didnt like red?
El toro!

A german joke with fish, that pointe you couldnt translate. Look at the bolded words.

Ein Thunfisch sagt zum Walfisch
Was sollen wir tun, fisch ?
Du hast die Wahl, fisch !

A tunafish says tu a walefish
What could we do, fish ?
You got the choice, fish !

Wow, that's really good fischkringl Easy to pronounce too

Thank you, L number Banana. This is a very old joke in germany, but its a good one. An oldy, but a goldy.

Who likes to see Discovery at the TV?
The channel catfish!

But this here isnt easy to pronounce:
Fischers frisch frisierter Fritze fischt frisch fritierte fisch-filets.
In english: Fishermens fresh hairdressed Fritze is fishing fresh fried fish-filets.

I went to the marked with my brother Jim,
and somebody threw a fish at him.
Fish dont hurts, when it cames on your skin,
but this one hurts it came in a tin!!!

Two young men were out in the woods on a camping and fishing trip, when they came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.

At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.

Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook.

One of the men said to the other, "This is the place!"

The other replied, "No, it's not!"

The first man said, "Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side."

To which the other man replied, "Silly, you can't tell a brook by its clover."

Ein Spaziergänger sagt zum Angler:
"Beissen sie?"
Der Angler antwortet:
"Sehe ich so aus?"

The german word "sie" could stand for a person, who you didnt know or for many persons or things, in this joke many fish.

Sagt ein fisch zum anderen: Hi!
Sagt der andere: Wo?
The word "Hi" is in germany the word for "shark".

Leihe niemals einem Fisch deinen Kamm. Der Fisch könnte schuppen haben.

fischkringli wrote:Leihe niemals einem Fisch deinen Kamm. Der Fisch könnte schuppen haben.

Gilt das auch fuer Welse? Die haben gar keine Schuppen. Oder?

Q. What did the fish say when it swam into the wall?
A. Dam!

Which catfish likes poland?
The Polskadot catfish.

You know there's these fishing shows on TV. They catch the fish but they let it go. They dont wanna eat the fish but they do wanna make it late for something.

'Where were you??'
'I got caught'
'Bulls**t lemme see the inside of your lip'

Mitch Hedberg

Every fish hate him, the madfish.

Three blondes fishing

Three blondes are sitting by the side of a river holding fishing poles with the lines in the water. A Game Warden comes up behind them, taps them on the shoulder and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses."

"We don't have any." replied the first blonde.

"Well, if your going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden.

"But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We all have magnets at the end of our lines and we're collecting debris off the bottom of the river."

The Game Warden lifted up all the lines and, sure enough, there were horseshoe magnets tied on the end of each line. "Well, I know of no law against it," said the Game Warden, "take all the debris you want." And with that, the Game Warden left.

As soon as the Game Warden was out of sight, the three blondes started laughing hysterically. "What a dumb Fish Cop," the second blonde said to the other two, "doesn't he know that there are steelhead in this river?!"

This is a great one. Now I know another Blondes-joke.

A Little Respect
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."

The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years

Submitted by: Gary Reinhardt

What do you call the records you keep to track your Oto's health and spawning activity?

An Oto-biography.

Der Zebrawels sprach mit Bedacht:
Welse werden Nachts gemacht,
und schwamm mit Gegröhle
in die Ablaichhöhle

Fish and Chips
One day while driving home from his fishing trip in the pouring rain, a man got a flat tire outside of a monastery. A monk came out and invited the man inside to have dinner and to spend the night. The stranded motorist gladly accepted the monk's offer.

That evening the man had a wonderful dinner of fish and chips. He decided to compliment the chef.

Entering the kitchen, the man asked the cook, "Are you the fish friar?" "No," the chef replied, "I'm the chip monk."

Submitted by: Gary Reinhardt

these are great!! I thought these were cute, hope they aren't on here already:

A fish swam into a wall and said, “Dam!”

why fishing is better then sex:

You can catch and release a fish, you don't have to lie, and promise to
still be friends after you let it go.

what kind of fish do you see after a rain storm?
rainbow trout

what kind of fish has nine lives?
catfish

My favorite fishing joke...

A man goes fishing, rain or shine, every Saturday for 30 years. One Saturday he awakes before dawn to see the worst storm outside that he has ever seen. He tries to hitch his boat to his truck but can't get the job done in the hurricane-like winds. Eventually he gives up, returns to the house, takes off his wet clothes and crawls back in bed.

He says to his wife, "The worst storm I have ever seen is blowing outside."

His wife replies, "Yes it is, can you believe that idiot is out there fishing!"

-Shane

A Cichlid, that is very sad every time: the Apistodrama

fischkringli wrote:A Cichlid, that is very sad every time: the Apistodrama

Apistodrama catastrophoides?

Jools

or Apistodrama frightend red

I got sent this one at work......