Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

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L number Banana
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by L number Banana »

Finally! Spam has made me laugh:

The first man married a woman from Houston, Texas . He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.


The second man married a woman from South Carolina. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.


The third man married a girl from CANADA . He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he did not see anything, the second day he did not see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still has some difficulty when he pees.

(no offense meant to US ladies, I'm sure it would be the same if there was no death penalty in place :lol: )
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by Shane »

Three buddies are out collecting.

The first says, "Man, I had to agree to paint the kitchen to get out this weekend."

The second says, "Ha! I had to agree to buy a new living room set."

The third says nothing. After a couple of minutes his friends ask him what he was forced to do to get out collecting for the weekend.

He replies, "I set my alarm for four am. As soon as it went off I shook my wife awake and said, "Should we make love now or should I go collecting with the guys?" She replied, "Wear sunblock."

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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by Timberwolf »

My daughter loves sushi and wanted me to try the octopus, but I couldn't get it to let go of the plate.
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by andywoolloo »

:lol: to all three!!!
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by DJ-don »

Timberwolf wrote:My daughter loves sushi and wanted me to try the octopus, but I couldn't get it to let go of the plate.
in korea we ate fresh octapus which was just freshly cut raw and the tentacles where still moving!!
it tasted good but the suction cups got stuck to my tongue

and there is a fish joke in my signature :roll:
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by Jools »

1) What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird’s leg and a hand?…Birdsthigh fish fingers

2) Two parrots sitting on a perch…the first one says to the other “can you smell fish?”

3) What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse?…The Codfather

4) How do young fish get to school?…By octobus
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Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by Sandee »

L number Banana wrote:Frankly Scallop, I don't give a clam.
LOL


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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by bekateen »

Okay, this isn't a "fish joke" per se, but it is mildly humorous, at least to my kids and me: Did you ever notice this? If you feed your bristlenoses a diet of wood and fresh sweet potato, you get the candy sprinkles used on Halloween donuts? =)) :-O
... Just a thought.
What my baby plecos actually pooped after eating wood and sweet potato
What my baby plecos actually pooped after eating wood and sweet potato
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by catfishchaos »

Ok guys this is sardine to get ridiculous, your basically floundering for responses. I think the jokes were best up until the minnow of this thread :))


When it comes to puns Ill kick you all in the bass b-)
I can stop keeping catfish whenever I want. I just don't think I'll ever want to do that...
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by Jools »

Thanks for the koi remarks, but I think you're talking carp.

Jools
PS Cyprinid only punnery.
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by Sfamnun »

My uncle is allergic to fish, so he has sausages in his aquarium.
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by bekateen »

Did you know that Panaque and Panaqolus make furniture? Of course, think of all the wood stools they produce!
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by pleconut »

Good one, made me giggle =))
Thanks Teresa
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by Wyomingite »

Husband: My BN plecos spawned. I need another tank for the fry.

Wife: Mwahahahahahahahahaha ha ha ha. That's funny, do you have another one?

:) Ivan
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by shrimpkeeper222 »

What is ur secret to ur perfect english?
My appistogramma gives me grammar lessons!!!
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RCS(Red Cherry Shrimp) are CS(Cherry Shrimp)!
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by bekateen »

From "Texas Jokes" on Facebook:
13124916_1214777645229707_3084849673229889043_n.jpg
13124916_1214777645229707_3084849673229889043_n.jpg (18.47 KiB) Viewed 10194 times
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by TwoTankAmin »

Little known fact. The origin of fin rot is helsinki........
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by bekateen »

What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

TuNa

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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by catfishchaos »

A lot of trees have anxiety problems.. The ones in the amazon are prone to Panaque attacks ;)
I can stop keeping catfish whenever I want. I just don't think I'll ever want to do that...
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Re: Does everybody knows fish-jokes?

Post by pleconut »

Lol that's a good one. :))
Thanks Teresa
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